Are there any special account types or something I can take advantage of in this situation?
To preface, let me explain my situation. I am the youngest of 3 children, one of my older siblings cannot work due for reasons that I will not go into, and my other sibling isn't working and I'm not even sure if they are applying jobs and they snap at me…
To preface, let me explain my situation. I am the youngest of 3 children, one of my older siblings cannot work due for reasons that I will not go into, and my other sibling isn't working and I'm not even sure if they are applying jobs and they snap at me every time that I ask and I'm tired of being attacked over it. My only parent can't work because taking care of their only living parent and the sibling that can't work is a full time job. I am the only person in this household with an income (if we ignore my grandparent's minimal income from SS). Here's where the issues arises. My parent isn't their only child and my grandparent has their mind set on selling the house (that all 5 of us live in) after their death so that the proceeds can be split evenly among their children. I don't make enough to rent a place and cover food for all of us, but since I'm still early in my career I'm kinda stuck where I am until I have more experience and can get a better paying job. I'm currently doing everything that I can to save money to prepare, but with how old my grandparent is and everything I'm not sure how I'm going to manage financially once they inevitability pass on. I have almost everything I have saved in a HYSA because who knows how long my grandparent will last, since their spouse died last winter. But is there anything else I should be doing or have in mind to prepare financially? I currently have ~50k saved and I know that my parent will receive between 300-450k when their parent passes depending on a few different factors. As I'm going to become the sole income for my family as soon as my grandparent dies, is there anything specific you all can recommend for me since I have no idea when this will happen?
Collected discussion
Do you…want to be the only one supporting your parent and siblings? Thats moreso a relationship question than a financial one. But yes, if you have a chunk of money that you don’t know when you will need access to it, the best place for it is a HYSA.
not really, but I don't want to leave them high and dry either
I have no way to increase my income since I already work overtime and am contracted in to this position for a few more months (hopefully with a better paying job offer at the end) and I'm already doing what I can to manage our expenses.
Yes our state does have Filial laws, but we would still take care of her anyway even if there weren't. I'll look into it thank you.
right now my grandparent is covering everything minus the food and internet/phone plan which I pay for. Yeah, my mom is the only one who might have idea of how much money I have, but I don't let her see my accounts so she has no definite numbers. But yeah, once things happen it would be a good idea to have an idea for what boundaries I want. I know that that is the smart thing, but I hate the idea of leaving them high and dry.
Don't set boundaries later. Get people used to them now. These are grown ass adults. You are not leaving them high and dry. Even the one who can't work. That one is your mom's responsibility, not yours. They need to figure things out for themselves and not rely on you. You need to lead your own life,
That's an awfully defeatist attitude. Did you already create your full budget? There's always something to cut. Always. Stop restaurants, takeout, drinks, and prepared foods. Cook rice, bean, carrot, potato stew. Lots of options Do you have possessions you can sell? Better job? Better area? Gig work? Whatever it takes
But isn't the government currently doing their best to get rid of those aid programs? I do need to have a sit down with my parent.
Your state could have assistance. You should check there first. You didn’t go into your sibling’s situation. Also, if your mother is a full time caregiver, she may be able to get a stipend from Social Security, although I believe that is more difficult. Something for her to look into.
Just have my own saving and checking account that no one else has access to?
How old are you?
Here's a link to the PF Wiki for helpful guides and information. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Here's a link to the PF Wiki for helpful guides and information. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You can't be the sole income for 5 people. Period. You need to contribute, because (I assume) you get free rent. But you can't cover everything. Guard your 50k, Don't tell anyone that you have it. Keep adding what you can to it. Set some boundaries. Like you will pay all of the utilities, for example. Electric, gas, water, sewer, trash, internet. Tell them you can't and won't cover any more. Tell them that if they try to extract more money out of you, you will leave and not cover anything. That's the boundary. Anything else that you spend is only for you. They need to buy their own food, clothing, etc. Only buy food for yourself. Hide it if you have to. If the house that you live in is sold, use your savings to move out and get a place of your own. A small place, where there isn't room for anyone else.
Does your state have Filial laws requiring that adult children take care of their elderly parents? If not, you (and your mom) can walk away. Has your grandparent ever been on Medicaid - and if so, are you aware that most states will try and reclaim any money paid towards their care (post age 55) after they die? Look up estate recovery.
Don't count your chickens before they hatch. You should plan and live assuming only money that you earn will be at your disposal. You need to make your math work for you by increasing income and managing expenses Click the pf wiki click budgeting
As others have said, it is not your sole responsibility to support your siblings. I understand wanting to help support your mother as she ages. But HELP is the key word here. If you don’t set boundaries and rules, you will never have a life and you will be POOR forever. Trust me, I was poor growing up and it sucks. Your sibling that can’t work needs to be on some type of government aide and if they can’t, then there has to be some type of work that they can do to help support the family, even if it’s the housework or caring for your grandparent while you and your mother work outside the home. The deadbeat sibling? They can go couch surf somewhere or pay rent. There is no other option. Hard line. You need to have a hard conversation with your mom and set guidelines in place regarding her role, your role, and future plans. She may not agree with what you want to do - what you need to do. If not, you need to save yourself. Then once your grandparent passes, you can step in and help your mom. No matter what, it’s not your responsibility to support your siblings.
I do admire you for being willing and able to do this. It is important to realize that a lot of people get into dependency. You don't mention what is going on with the other three sibs, but I would bet that they could help your mother take care of the grandparents. Your mother is basically expecting you to bring in all the income. Then the grandparents want to have the house sold and the money split up and somehow you are supposed to make all of this up. I would suggest that you read something about codependency to understand what is going on here. Consider getting professional counseling- preferably from a Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist, to help you figure out the family dynamics here and the best way for you to respond. If your gparent wants the money to be split amongst all the children, isn't your mom the only one? Or do you mean the grandchildren also? If your mom gets 300k, with good investing, she could get 25 to 30K or more just from investing and she will need to contribute this to the family. You can help by learning about investing now. See the Wiki. Go to Schwab and watch all the videos. Do a little investing with some money that you could lose as it takes 2-5 years to get the basics down. The other people in your family need to step up. I have seen a lot of disabled people and so I do know. As long as they are not developmentally disabled, they need to help even a little. You are caught in a co-dependency trap and your family will be much stronger if everyone is helping to the greatest extent possible, and this includes your mother.
Many on here are telling you to set boundaries and expect others to step up. I'm glad you are willing to listen. See Avocado before Toast and think about those sayings. There is a reason they exist.
is there anything specific you all can recommend for me since I have no idea when this will happen? Beware of lighting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Yes, both of these apply even to your own blood family. That is probably the thing you need the most, but will have difficulty coming to terms with.
This comment was deleted.