Toddler bed transition woes... SOS?
You guys, I am at my wits end. House is 2 bedrooms up, 2 down, so my newly 8yo girl and 2y 9m boy share a room. This goes great as little bro goes to sleep at 8ish in crib, guaranteed to cry and fuss for 15 min, but by 8yo's bedtime at 9, he's asleep. Works…
You guys, I am at my wits end. House is 2 bedrooms up, 2 down, so my newly 8yo girl and 2y 9m boy share a room. This goes great as little bro goes to sleep at 8ish in crib, guaranteed to cry and fuss for 15 min, but by 8yo's bedtime at 9, he's asleep. Works great. Well, that went out the window today when youngest suddenly figured out that he can climb out of his crib. It's over. He didn't nap. We converted the crib to a toddler bed. Oldest was very excited, because that means she can sleep in the toddler bed with him or he can sleep in the twin bed with her. Whatever works. Just sleep! They had a blast and both went to bed at 730pm so excited about the new bed situation, reading books, playing, cuddling etc. Occasionally hear oldest coaxing him to go to sleep. 9:15pm this had devolved into a shove and scream fest where oldest was screaming at him to get off of her in the twin bed because there isn't enough room for 2, and he's screaming at her not wanting to sleep alone in the toddler bed. Meltdown ensued until 9:45pm with toddler climbing out of bed and dramatically collapsing, screaming, and pounding on the floor over and over, while bawling at the top of his lungs until my husband sat with him until he zonked out. Guarantee he'll be awake at 3am yelling "Dada come baaaaackkkk" This isn't sustainable. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I've considered buying a queen inflatable mattress and just putting it on the floor and letting them duke it out. Maybe this will actually work as they both get to sleep in one bed but have more room, and youngest won't fall out on the floor either. In desperation, I have considered a freaking crib tent for the youngest to keep him in it, and reassembling the crib. I will literally do anything and this is only night 1. Any thoughts on how to survive this with our sanity intact are greatly appreciated.
Collected discussion
Why do they have to share a room? It sounds like you have 4 bedrooms.
At 8, she doesn't want to be downstairs by herself which is where the other 2 bedrooms are located. She can't handle getting up in the night to use the restroom as is due to being afraid of the dark.
They can't though. That's the thing. 2 bedrooms are located upstairs, two downstairs. Our 8yo doesn't want to be on another floor of the house and is too afraid to sleep downstairs.
That sounds great except he won't stay in his bed.
Get them an intercom or little radio.
Nightlights?
They need their own rooms. It's not a democracy. They can have slumber parties with permission.
Why dont both of them go downstairs/upstairs while you’re in the other. Have a sound monitor in your room in case they call and need you. That way neither is alone but they have their own rooms.
Ask the oldest what she wants to do
I mean id wait till your youngest was asleep to send your older one in personally.
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Put an air mattress in your room for 8 yr old until the toddler gets adjusted to sleeping in a toddler bed. We explained it to my kids (who climbed out of crib at 13 mths/15 mths) that they had to stay in their room and could not wake us up unless it was an emergency. A few nights of putting them back in their rooms without engaging with them at night worked. I would also stagger the bed times so youngest is already sleepy or sleeping by time your daughter goes in there. The other option is to work on helping your daughter overcome her fear of sleeping downstairs. Try night lights, etc. you could also have an adult sleep downstairs adjacent to her for a few nights to ease the transition.
If they each want space but do generally want to sleep together, can you arrange it so the toddler bed and twin bed are right next to each other? That way they can hold hands and be close but not too close?
They make queen bunks. My niece/nephew have them and they are pretty darn cool!
One idea... Separate bedtimes saved us in a shared room situation. Put the younger one down first at his normal time with the door closed, and let the older one hang out in a different room reading or doing something quiet until he's asleep. Then she goes in. The novelty of the new bed situation is what's winding them up together, and they genuinely cannot help themselves when they're both in there awake. It'll probably only take a week or two of staggered bedtimes before the little one stops treating the toddler bed like a party.
The first few nights after crib freedom are almost always the worst of it, the novelty is doing most of the damage and it usually fades within a week or two. The thing worth trying: go back to your old stagger, but harder. Put him down at his normal time with big sister completely out of the room (she reads downstairs or in your room), and every time he climbs out you calmly and silently walk him back to bed with zero talking, zero eye contact, as many times as it takes. Once he's asleep, she tiptoes in like before, and the shared bed experiment can wait until he's actually solid at falling asleep alone. It feels brutal for a few nights but boring repetition is what teaches him the bed still means sleep.